Fuming

Yes. The picture to the left is me. Add a few tears into the mix and just an utter look of confusion…and you get a better picture.

I heard from the FH last night and he was on his way back to the states. YAY! So exciting! I was glad he had a bit of battery juice left in his laptop so we could Skype for a few minutes. Thankful for that. It had been a few days since we were able to communicate, which is long for us given our situation. I knew it would be soon, very very very soon.

So I go to bed last night and I have my phone on vibe. I’m staying at my employers (before you freak, I’m a nanny) and they have a very small condo. The last thing I need is for someone to light up my Facebook at 2am or something and wake the whole house. None the less, I was passed out. I woke up and saw I had a missed phone call from a New Jersey area code at 3:15am. Hmm…I didn’t know anyone in NJ who would call me at that hour. I assumed it was either a wrong number or someone trying to notify me the FH was coming stateside. I pondered, tweeted, texted, and finally called the number back. It was one of the guys he was with in theater as I recognized the name. Did some investigative work and sure enough he was from NJ. So, I texted the number since it had gone straight to voicemail previously. Well, the text came back stating it was from a landline. HUH? I had one scenario in my mind and that threw it out the window. I had thought maybe this guy let FH use his cell once they landed in the states to call me. Time wise, it added up perfectly. But a landline? Huh?

Rear-detachment is supposed to call me starting 18 hours before he arrives home…give or take. I know I’m not the only person to be called but from what I’ve gathered from the 1st Cav website and the recent town hall, they call you until you are able to be reached. My name IS on a list to be notified per his request. So if he is indeed on his way…why did I get a random phone call from a NJ number at 3:15 am and nothing else again?

So, given the times that I know and the fact my phone rang at 3:15am, I assume he is home. Okay so fine. I don’t know for sure…but none the less I can still watch the homecoming ceremony online. WRONG. Somehow I KNEW that something would be not working and I wouldn’t even be able to watch. Sure enough, the live feed is broken and will take days to be fixed. I tested it out a week or so ago on our ADVON guys and it worked fine. I was sooooooo looking forward to being able to at least watch it online since I couldn’t be there in person. I may not have been able to catch a glimpse of him…maybe I would have…but to feel like I was somehow a part of it. Ugh.

So here I stand at 11:36pm EST on Monday, November 23rd having absolutely zero idea of whether he’s actually made it home to the states or not. TOTALLY BOGUS. I AM PISSED! I want to sit here and think I’m over-reacting and perhaps he’s not even home yet. WHAT?! But, I want him to just hurry up and be home already. I feel like a lunatic. I think I just feel completely helpless because I have no idea what’s happening. Was that phone call from a guy on Rear-D? Was he calling me from a buddies phone saying he wasn’t going to be home for another day or so? Why did it say it was a landline? ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!

To make matters worse, he doesn’t have a cell phone or internet access. So, I’m at the mercy of someone else with a cell phone to let him use or waiting several days to a week to hear from him once he is able to get one. So frustrating.

Should I be celebrating that he’s made it home or should I be going about my business knowing he’s on another flight? This sucks.

Anyway, my point of blogging all of this was to vent and to blow off some steam. I’m sorry for those of you used to my happy-go-lucky positive posts but if today indeed was his homecoming day, I feel like I’ve been robbed. The fact I have no idea if he is even here is mind-boggling. I also wanted to put this out there to highlight the realities of all of this Army/Military-ish. Perhaps my experience is a freak incident, but in talking to others they have had both similar experiences AND fantastic ones. So, here’s mine…and here I wait.

I’m sure in the next few days I’ll blog about either feeling like a fool because he wasn’t even home or that my thoughts were true and indeed I did miss it…but at least he’s home. I’ll let you know which it will be soon. Hang tight. I’m trying.