We’ve made it to the 30***Day countdown. I asterisk bc my dear girl @meljmason reminds me to be cautious counting on the Army to stick by their word. 😉 None the less, I cannot WAIT until this tour is over. We have so much ahead of us. I can’t wait. I won’t be there for homecoming which bums me out, but what the soldier says goes. 🙂
I’m excited to see I’ve had so many viewers over the past few weeks. I wish more of you would comment and leave your thoughts and feelings to let me know you can identify with some of the things I’m talking about. But, I’m thankful to have you all reading and thank you to those of you who do comment.
The first thing on my mind tonight is something I feel I need to express for personal reasons and hopefully to benefit others of you. I can say that my relationship with God has been ever-changing. I was raised in a Christian home and attended private school most my life…up until 8th grade. I was to be kept in it until graduation, but my dad left and therefore we could no longer afford to keep me there. None the less I feel that most everyone has some turning point in their lives they can share about that helped them become closer to God. A testimony. While tonight is not the night for such a conversation and not the venue…I have to say that God has taught me so much about myself within the last two-three years.
I can specifically look back at certain life events now and say “Wow. That’s what that was for.” For example, the last relationship I had before my soldier was with a guy who FINALLY treated me the way a girl deserves to be treated. Shortly after we met, he ended up having to move to NY for the summer to do some work. Thus beginning a long distance relationship. At the time I was doing marketing for the LPGA and was traveling all over the country alone. (another event that prepared me for this) We saw each other about every 2 months or so, either back home in Orlando or he flew to me out on the road. Although two months is nothing compared to a deployment, these little instances helped prepare me for my relationship with my soldier. I had to learn to function without my significant other, enjoy the time we had together, make the most of it, and I even got practice at care packages! 🙂 So, not only did my last relationship prepare me for this one…my job at the time FORCED me to be independant and fend for myself out on the road in completely unfamiliar surroundings. See the alignment here?
God certainly works in mysterious ways. It took me a very long time to completely abandon all of me and surrender to Him to let Him do his work. A very long time. But truthfully when I did, all the pieces fell together and I am where I am now.
In the midst of me losing my job back home and struggling to find money to eat…feeling completely hopeless and wondering if things were ever going to get better…I was given the chance to pack it all up and move away. Something I had been wanting to do for a while, just never thought possible. Touring with the LPGA also instilled this “need” in me to move, move, move and explore. So a new job opportunity was given to me in VA. I was scared and new at the time there was no way I could make it, but I had to do it. So I got in my car with everything I could fit in my little coupe, a few hundred bucks in my pocket, and made the move. My job was originally only supposed to last 3 months, but again…God’s grace stepped in and extended it until August 31, 2010. I feel so blessed in this economy to have job security as I do.
Again, all pure testimony to how God gives us exactly what we need. Sometimes He might bring us right to the edge so we appreciate it and recognize it, but He always has our best interests in mind. Then comes my soldier.
For those of you who know our story, you know we’ve known each other for 10 years and that we had been talking before he deployed in Dec of 2008. But at the time of us first talking, I hadn’t been thinking too much of it turning into anything. I think in the back of my mind I secretly hoped it would…but truthfully…so much was going on I didnt think much of it. And now I’m here. At the end of our first deployment with an amazing man and an amazing God who brought us together. He’s protected my soldier and given me the strength to get through this.
I would like to say again, that we all have our moments in this life. I know I have had a few tears and nights of loneliness. I have depended so much on the love and support of my military/Army family on Twitter, FB, and the real world. But all in all, God has allowed me to remain positive. He has erased the doubt from my mind and the fear from my heart. Looking back now, it doesn’t feel like it’s been a year. I’m sure for the soldier it seems like an eternity.
I guess my point in all of this is to say that if you are struggling with the things I’ve mentioned and really struggling through a deployment…turn to God. You have to COMPLETELY surrender yourself. COMPLETELY let go. Not just a little…not just most of you…all of you. He WILL give you the strength to get through this and get through it with a smile and positivity.
I cannot stress the importance of staying positive and strong for our soliders, marines, etc. It doesn’t mean we pretend, but it does mean we suck it up at times…go to God for some rejuvention, and slap a smile on the face. Wallowing, wailing, crying, and complaining do absolutely nothing.
Here are a few verses to carry you through:
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge.
Psalm 62:8 NIV
Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall.
Psalm 55:22 NIV
Come to me all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your soul. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.
Matthew 11:28-30 NIV
So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart;
do not depend on your own understanding.
Seek his will in all you do,
and he will show you which path to take.