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Donations of the living kind

November 15, 2009

spermI know. I can see you all now going…umm…Shannon? WTF!?! Why do you have a picture of Uncle Sam asking for Sperm on your blog. Yeah, I’ll explain.

A few weeks ago Reina & I were working a promo together and chatting about randomness like we always do. She had told me about how someone once asked her if she woul ever have her FH’s sperm frozen…just in case. When she said it, I was kinda stunned. I had never thought about it and never wanted to. It TOTALLY took me by surprise. It made me really think.

We haven’t really had those “If I Don’t Come Back” chats. Maybe because we’re nearing the end of deployment but I’m really glad. I know it’s reality but it’s just something I don’t want to have to think about or plan for. I guess it comes with it? Have you ladies had those talks before? The only thing he has ever said was to be strong. I had no idea what he meant and I asked him if he meant in case something happened. That’s what he meant :-/

So initially I had said like WOW. I don’t know if we would do that. That’s a pretty serious decision for a lot of reasons. Normally they would want you to move on with your lives and not keep living in the past. Maybe everyone is different but even though FH and I are yet to be married, I can’t imagine it. But then again who ever can? Then there is the thought of going through the pregnancy and childbirth all alone or at least without them. I know MANY women do this during a deployment, but birthing a child with his nose or his eyes and him not being…UGH. I can’t even finish that sentence. Is it fair to the baby to not have his father and never know him? It’s such a complicated issue.

I read an article where apparently this had happened. A woman and her husband agreed to freeze his sperm, just in case. Well, sadly…they needed it. She gave birth to a healthy baby boy I believe 2 years after he died. I have to say I applaud her for her strength and courage. Maybe some view it as being selfish, but I see it differently.

At first I didn’t think it was something FH & I would do but now as we move closer to starting our lives together and my deep desire to make him a dad and myself a mommy…I wonder. I think it’s something we’ll talk about more in depth and possibly end up doing. When you love someone and you choose to marry them, you wonder what your babies will look like. At least I do. Maybe just because I’m crazy about all of these things. I’m pretty sure I would want to know. I would want some sort of legacy of our love to live on. It would be tough as hell but I think of that woman and all of the babies that were born after 9/11. Those women never even knew. They never even had the talk that we military wives eventually have. Their husbands went to work at an office building and left them widows with babies on the way. Terrible.

Anyway, I know that’s a wierd topic to discuss in general and something not super happy to think about. But, I figured no better place to talk about it and get feedback then on my blog.

2 Comments leave one →
  1. November 15, 2009 11:08 AM

    This IS an interesting topic. I was 25 weeks with my 2nd when he deployed for the first time so it really wasn’t something we talked about. I still don’t think I would have wanted to freeze sperm just in case. I guess it is one thing if I was pregnant and something happened and had to do it without him. But another to start grieving and then decide to get pregnant from him even though he wasn’t there anymore. But maybe that is how some people cope or need to cope with it all?

  2. November 15, 2009 11:59 AM

    My husband and I have 3 kids already, but I know that if I hadn’t of already had children with him I would have wanted to freeze some of his sperm. He would have wanted me to as well.

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