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I Am A Military Girlfriend

November 17, 2009

I am a military girlfriend. I hold no formal recognition with the powers that be I am at the bottom of the chain. I hold no Military ID card; I am not a dependent or a parent. The man I love may face unspeakable dangers and I am at the mercy of those who possess this recognition for news. I understand this and accept this.

I have promised to be here for him upon his return no matter how long he is away. They may say I am insane for making such a commitment, but I hold onto our promises and have faith that he will come home safe. I know well that my love for him fuels him in the worst of times.

There is no ring on my finger to symbolize our commitment, though I love him no less for it. I hope every day that he will be able to call because a simple 30-second phone call can bring the greatest spectrum of emotions smiling with tears in my eyes from so much joy and pain. My relationship is based on a brief communication where I love you and I’m okay speaks more than volumes and gives me the strength to keep going.

I take no moment spent together for granted. I hold onto every touch, caress, kiss, and every word. I have memorized the feel of his skin, his smell, the sound of his voice and I play it over and over in my mind so that I will not forget. I cry myself to sleep some nights because missing him hurts so badly, but wake up the next morning, brush myself off and start a new day.

The events of the next several months hold my life, my love, and my future in the balance. When you watch the news reports, you may turn away and go about your business relatively unaffected. When I watch news stories of the war, I do not see nameless soldiers half a world away. I see individuals who will be forever changed by war.  News of every casualty causes me physical pain and deep sadness.

I am a military girlfriend. Not a spouse or family member. When you say your prayers for the husbands and wives, mothers and fathers, sisters and brothers, sons and daughters…please don’t forget about me.

If you think being a soldier is tough, try loving one. If you think soldiers are strong, you should look at their girls.

59 Comments leave one →
  1. Maci permalink
    December 27, 2009 10:20 PM

    I just want to thank who ever made this website because this is so boyfriend is away at war right now until the is very hard and just getting a simple phone call makes my day! and once he gets home not one day will be taken for granted! i love my soldier and i always will!
    Thanks again

    • rachel permalink
      February 29, 2012 6:55 AM

      i have a boyfriend who is also in the army he just got home from being over seas and i love spendin every minute with him not one day i could never change it for the world i am proud to say i am a army girlfriend

  2. Ben permalink
    February 7, 2010 8:12 PM

    Very powerful creed. I give my girlfriend so much credit for sticking by me through everything! any girl who braves her man going off to war is just as much a soldier as me in my eyes. thankyou to all of you your love and commetment to us overseas means more than anything in the entire world.

  3. jessica permalink
    May 10, 2010 7:37 AM

    this is so true my boyfriend left for the first time since we got together this morning

  4. Alexis permalink
    July 9, 2010 12:37 AM

    Thank you, I know I’m not alone but it’s nice to read about others. We haven’t been together long but I love him and he will be going soon to clean the gulf and then heading over for his third tour. I am thankful for every day I am blessed with him. Any helpful hints about talking about waiting for him? We started talking about it but it left me more worried.
    Bless all those who love and are loved.

  5. Jessica permalink
    November 15, 2010 11:35 PM

    Thank you….I have til June for my boyfriend to come home…This made me cry but I enjoy reading its beautifully worded and I have already passed it on to another friend of mine

  6. kim permalink
    January 13, 2011 5:11 PM

    If you think that’s hard, try being a woman in the military, trying to hold on to her civilian boyfriend. That’s heartache.

  7. Alexis permalink
    March 21, 2011 2:36 PM

    Well.. That Made Me Cry.. My Boyfriend Leaves In July…
    And Im Trying To Get Prepared… And I Need All The Advice I Can Get..
    I Know Its Going To Be Hard But I Can Do It…
    But That Was A Very Touchy Speech.. And Worded Perfectly… 🙂

    • louise permalink
      June 14, 2011 7:03 AM

      My boyfriend leaves for afghan in september, i am going to be tottaly lost without him!This is our first xmas we will be appart and also he may just be back for my 21sy dependeing on when they manage to get shipped back home. I am not a strong person as he is my rock and when ever soemthing is wrong i know i can always count on him to support me and guide me through. I love my solider so so much, we have already discussed getting a house when he back, so it’s gives us something to plan and look forward to together. We have discussed letter writing, care packages everthing, we are goin on holiday in a few weeks just to spend some quality time together before he goes and i must say it can’t come quick enough. I am already preparing myself for when i say good bye to him, and then the counting down begins for him to come home, I am a proud army girlfriend like all othrs out there and i will love and support my solider through the good times and the bad!

      • amy permalink
        December 11, 2012 7:58 PM

        hello louise yeah i understand it is very hard im a army girlfriend myself. my boyfriend is deployed over there in afghan right now too. its hard for me i pray everyday that he is staying safe over there until he comes back home to me. he is my soild rock to to. we had talk about when he gets back home to get married. i cant wait when the day comes when he comes home to me.

      • Almeta Regulus permalink
        December 19, 2012 8:59 PM

        I understand I can’t wait for my fiancee either I miss him and love him

  8. April Gonzales permalink
    May 4, 2011 2:33 PM

    Do you have to be an ARMY girlfriend? I’m a Navy girlfriend.

  9. Ashley permalink
    June 17, 2011 3:50 PM

    My boy just left six days ago for basic. I miss him like crazy already =( But I love my soldier. This site is amazing.

    • Samantha Nellermoe permalink
      July 12, 2011 1:50 AM

      Me and my boyfriend Chad have been together for a year and a half now. He left June 14th for basic training.. Before he left we were together every chance we got. Watching him walk away that day with me not being able to do anything about it was heartbreaking. Girlfriends/Wives of soldiers are the strongest of the strong. We fall in love with soldiers knowing that they are putting their lives on the line for every person we know or don’t know. Other who aren’t with a soldier don’t get it, they look at us like we’re crazy for wanting a life of waiting… but as long as your waiting and counting down those days… you know you always have something to look forward to when your christmas present comes home early from 6000 miles away. ❤

      • amy permalink
        December 11, 2012 8:01 PM

        name jesus amen to that all we can do that is pray all them will come home soon safe and sound

  10. July 19, 2011 6:26 PM

    This really helped me feel less alone. My boyfriend left today and it was the hardest thing I had to do in my life. I know he’s protecting the world for me, but it’s going to be hard not being with him every day. I miss him so much already. He won’t be back until March. That’s 8 months I won’t be able to see him in person. No one understands what we go through unless they’ve gone through it, too. Thank you for helping me through my tough time.

  11. Jen permalink
    August 10, 2011 8:58 PM

    This is perfectly worded! My Marine leaves in November. Regardless the branch, it all comes down to the same emotions and meaning. Thanks for this! Very comforting.

  12. Christene permalink
    August 24, 2011 12:35 PM

    Thank you. My soldier leaves this December 2011. I’m very scared and nervous. I wrote the creed down and I put it in my wallet. That way when I get upset I can read it. God bless and blessed be. My prayers are with both soldiers and loved ones.

  13. An Army Girlfriend permalink
    September 2, 2011 3:51 AM

    I love my army man

  14. Amanda permalink
    September 6, 2011 2:09 PM

    I’m a marine girlfriend. My boyfriend left this morning for basic. With how I feel right now, I can’t even imagine what it’s going to be like when he actually gets shipped out. Even though I’m in pain, I can’t help but smile through the tears because I know I’ll hear from him soon and he’ll be back before I know it. ❤

  15. September 28, 2011 11:14 AM

    This made me cry…. but also made me feel better about my situation! Thanks – needed that reassurance that everything is going to be okay 🙂

  16. Erica permalink
    March 3, 2012 8:26 AM

    I started out as an army girlfriend and dealt with a deployment not long after we started dating. Its been 2 years and he asked me on Feb 10th to be his wife! We are no longer active military as he was honorably discharged for medical reasons. I am dealing with deployment again as the fiancee of a civilian contractor…it doesnt get any easier no matter what they are! The creed was beautiful and is everything I feel now, still not entitled to any news, but knowing when he gets home, we have our whole future ahead of us!

  17. March 12, 2012 7:02 PM

    My boyfriend got stuck in MEPS for 2 days and leaves for basic tomorrow morning. Although I can still talk to him until then, it didn’t make it any easier to say goodbye. Last night was the WORSE by far; sleeping alone. I stand by him 100%. It bothers me to the fullest when my friends text me and complain about their boyfriends, because all I can come back with is, “At least you’re able to see yours, because I cannot see mine for the next 4 months.”
    And although 4 months isn’t a long time, it feels like years when your so used to having them around.
    My heart goes out to ALL the men and woman living a military lifestyle.

  18. Clare permalink
    March 27, 2012 11:00 PM


  19. Linda Jarden permalink
    March 27, 2012 11:04 PM

    Try being the Mother. I tracked my son by his debit card. As long as I knew he was using his debit card I knew he was safe. As long as I knew he was down loading I Tunes he was safe. I did not care how much he spent. All I knew was he was safe. All your life you protect your children but once you send then to war you can no longer protect them. As a mother that is the worst feeling. Thank the Lord he came home safe and sound. I am one of the luckey ones!!!!!

  20. Sarah Meyer permalink
    April 12, 2012 1:17 AM

    This website is amazing. I am a new Army girlfriend. My boyfriend is stationed at Ft. Riley KS. I am still figuring out the army and the different hours. I am so thankful for the Army spouses and girlfriends. I know I have much more to learn. I will be looking for some great advice!

  21. Joani permalink
    April 24, 2012 3:52 PM

    thank you so much. my boyfriend is deployed on the uss enterprise cvn65 and wont be home until sometime in Oct.-Jan. I miss so much it hurts sometimes and he has only been gone for 6wks almost. sometimes i wonder how ill get thro the rest of the year with out him, then i remember how i feel when we are together…i feel like that is what keeps me going, waiting for when we can be together again. so thank you so much to whoever wrote this. i feel like you gave me more hope ( =

  22. May 21, 2012 3:20 PM

    Wow. They always say words are not enough. No, words can be enough. You told us. Showed us. Compared to this great strength, belief and hopes. Go girl.

  23. Destiny permalink
    June 13, 2012 8:21 PM

    Hello. My name is Destiny and the guy I love is currently in Alaska and serves in the United States Army. I’m 19 years old and he’s 19, also. We’ve been friends for five years. He’s been there for me unlike anyone else in my life. Although we have never dated, we have that connection. I’ve never told him that I’m in love with him,but he knows that I do. And I know that he loves me too. I worry about him everyday. He calls a few times a week, whenever he has time. A simple text saying how he misses me makes me the happiest girl in the world. He’s the most amazing guy in the entire world. I’m travling to Alaska in July and surprize him. I’m going to ask him to be my boyfriend then. I can’t wait!! This site is so much help,knowing that there are girls that feel and are going through things that Iam is very resurring. Thank you all. ❤

  24. Katherine permalink
    June 25, 2012 12:47 AM

    Thank you so much for this, it made me cry but it’s the sweetest thig ever. My boyfriend is overseas right now and he won’t be back untill August, I miss him like crazy. People don’t understand how much I love him, and they think I am crazy for sticking with it. He is the love of my life, and I don’t know what I would do without him. Love you Brett 🙂

  25. gabriella permalink
    July 5, 2012 11:09 PM

    my boyfriend is in the air force we havent been together for very long but he is on orders now and doesnt come home often all we have is late nights on weekedends bc of my work scheduale and he is going to combat training in september for 6 weeks. this life is a lot harder then i could have ever imagined and i feel lonely every day but looking at this blog helped me out a lot today. not many people understand the life of the women behind the scenes of the men who serve our country. we need support just as much as we support our men. thank you ladies for helping me through this time. we need to stick together ! God bless our men. i love & miss my airman ❤

  26. Megan Thompson permalink
    July 10, 2012 12:20 PM

    My boyfriend left for basic yesterday and will ve gone for 5 months. We have been together for 4 years but I am new to all of this army stuff. The feeling I have without him here is one of the worst I’ve ever felt. Not having my bestfriend/boyfriend by my side for the first time ever, breaks me.into a million pieces. I’m just now starting this.long journey of being an army girlfriend. I’m so proud to be say that.

    • Almeta Regulus permalink
      December 19, 2012 8:46 PM

      Its definitely hard I am new at this to my fiancee was in the reserves and decided to and re enlisted this has been like someone stole my heart and it hurts like hell ! I agree we all need each other were going threw the hardest thing in our lives

  27. Donna permalink
    August 19, 2012 7:54 PM

    I’m new at this my boyfriend of a year and half gets shipped to basis training tomorrow and this is the first time we have been away from each other. I know he is gonna be safe and come home. I wasnt okay with it at first because I know knowing about being a army girlfriend. But he gave me a promise ring so I know he isn’t leaving me forever he is just leaving to make a better life for us. This page is amazing and has helped me to know that there is more people that has the same station as me.

  28. September 30, 2012 1:27 AM

    I just started dating someone from the military and he got deployed and i was just wondering how you cope with the emotional part of it I feel like i cry myself to sleep every night.. does it get easier? I just started a blog last night to try to make sense of it by writing things down but its just so hard. do you have any advice? i loved this post

    • welcometothelife permalink*
      December 19, 2012 1:31 AM

      Hi Shelley,

      Thanks so much for your comment and stopping by.

      It does get easier, because you get used to what is “the norm” being a part of this life. The worry and the fear never goes away, but you just get better at handling it and going about your day. Starting a blog is a fantastic way to get your feelings out and connect with other military girlfriends who are in the same boat as you. Stay strong!

  29. carlieTotts permalink
    October 9, 2012 10:44 AM

    Think this is mainly a US page but my boyfriend is in the Royal Marines (UK) he left a week ago for 2 months training. This is hard enough, I don’t know how I’ll cope when he goes away on active duty 😦 Reading this helps as none of my friends have boyfriends/girlfriends in the services.

    • welcometothelife permalink*
      December 19, 2012 1:30 AM

      Hi Carlie! Thanks for stopping by! I hope your boyfriend is back by now and you’re enjoying having him home again.

  30. amy permalink
    December 10, 2012 9:26 PM

    hello to whom made these e website im glad i came across/ i can say im a army’s girlfriend my boyfriend is still depluyed right now. the hardest thing is sleeping alone. the only way can sleep is dream that he is right by my side. and when i get a chance to chat with him on here. but its not very hard not to have him home with me right now. but im going to wait for him to come home to me safe and sound. he is my true love i cant wait to spend the rest my life with. he is a staff sgt in the army. i pray everyday and night for him to stay safe and come home to me soon. i love him so much we have been together almost a year next month.

  31. Almeta Regulus permalink
    December 16, 2012 10:40 PM

    Hello reading your stories give me a little comfort I never been without him ! He was in the in the reserves then he re enlisted now he’s gone for 18months don’t know how to deal with it he’s only been gone for 24 hrs and it seem like a life time. Already my heartaches and I can’t stop cry . It feels like a bad dream but I can’t wake up ! So I would appreciate the support

    • HappyArmyGirlfriend33 permalink
      April 13, 2013 12:38 AM

      Hey there! I am sorry that everyone is going through this! It is rough and it hurts! Ive been dating my BF for 6 months and he has been deployed overseas for 4 months and We haven’t been able to communicate the last three months and it is killling Me! Has anyone else been going through this? I really need someone to talk to! Out of everyone I know no one understands my feelings and they all tell Me I am crazy! I am crazy in love and can not help it!!! Just need someone to talk to that understands! Hope someone can talk and help Me to stay strong! This Blog is awesome and really helpful! Thank you for the strong words!!!!

  32. Rachel permalink
    January 7, 2013 10:11 PM

    This is very inspirational and eye opening. You are such a strong person and I commend you for doing what you are doing. My boyfriend is leaving for the air force in less than a month and I was unsure how to feel but your post has given me hope and made me feel like there is someone else who understands. I hope that I can be as good of a military girlfriend as you seem to be. My prayers go out to you and your solider.

  33. Destinie permalink
    February 16, 2013 10:01 AM

    My boyfriends name is Kwame Manful he is in Afghanistan until July or December, just decides when they want to send him home to me. He left December 4th, 21 days before christmas I miss him more than life, I just want him back by July so we can spend September 14th and September 17th together; his birthday then mine.

  34. April 14, 2013 8:08 PM

    this helped me to feel a bit better.. my bf leaves in June for 6 months.. : /

  35. amy permalink
    May 15, 2013 9:38 PM

    hello everyone i know its been awhile since i been on these site. im still hanging on and waiting for my soldier to come home. the more i wait and we are apart from the distance i loving him more and more everyday i cant wait when i be able to spend the rest my life with him i still pray everyday for him to return safe and sound to me

  36. Mikayla Neal permalink
    June 2, 2013 1:53 PM

    I have been dating my boyfriend for six months in July and he just left for deployment for nine months on Saturday (June 1st,2013) and I’m having a really hard time with it. My family is being really supportive and some of my friends are also. But they just don’t understand what I’m going through or they don’t know what to say except for “I’m sorry” which i don’t really need to hear. So I thought it would be a good idea to join a group. If anyone has advice or anything if they would email me at That would be amazing, I could really use a friend that has or going through the same thing as I am
    -Mikayla Neal

  37. July 9, 2013 3:46 PM

    I can relate to every single emotion you mentioned here. 🙂 God bless you two, hope you’re still together and still strong..

  38. catherine permalink
    July 31, 2013 12:15 AM

    This is so inspirational. My boyfriend is stationed in North Dakota so I never see him because getting leave is hard. We talk a few times a day but not for long. There’s days I try to be tough and remember what it was like when I visited him. He’s getting deployed in December and I give him all the encouragement in the world knowing I’m crying as I type it. Thank you so much for the hope and courage I have been looking for. Prayers and love to you and all the soldiers and significant others.

  39. Karen permalink
    August 17, 2013 5:20 PM

    Hello girls, I just found this website. I am an Air Force girlfriend whose airman has been deployed to Afghan since April 2013. It’s tough being the girlfriend with no real group that supports us, so was über glad to find this site. We are an unrecognized entity to most military support groups, however, we deal with many of the same fears and emotions as spouses and parents. My airman is a reservist on voluntary orders, but we are currently facing the possibility of a mandatory extension to his orders putting his return home before the holidays unlikely. Glad to hear there are others like myself out there and let’s keep praying for our service men and women to be safe and those here at home to be strong. God Bless you all❤

  40. Devyn permalink
    September 26, 2013 8:40 PM

    I have some questions…and i would really like to talk about this and i have no idea what im suppose to do:(

  41. May 30, 2014 1:18 AM

    I am so grateful to know there are an army girlfriend support group.. I admire ur stories… My boyfriend is station in Sudan. He will be back home at the end of June… I miss him so much. I pray everyday for his safety… We are getting married in October of this year. I am very proud to say that i am engaged to a soldier. We as womens should be very proud of our mens.

  42. Katherine permalink
    July 2, 2014 6:30 PM

    Awe that’s soo amazing you are so strong. I just meet some on in the military and he leaves in two weeks. We want to date but he is really scare. He will be gone for 10 months 😦 Yes I know its his job but its just I don’t want to lose him. Help???

  43. Ginny Goggin permalink
    December 26, 2014 4:27 PM

    Ditto..perfectly said!! I’m experiencing panic attacks I get so worried. Pacing floor, daily hour+workouts, eat right…insomnia, glued to CNN world reports. I’m in Massachusetts.

  44. Krystina permalink
    February 23, 2015 4:10 PM

    I am an army girlfriend…he is deployed right now and it’s been the hardest journey of my life yet. We plan to wed when he returns in the spring. Even though this blog is old it’s still true. Thanks

  45. Sierra Douglas permalink
    March 18, 2015 10:30 AM

    I just started dateing my boyfriend and he is leave on Monday for training and I’m kinda freaking out on how to handle it I just need people who understand me.and people to helpe though it.

  46. Amber permalink
    December 6, 2015 12:04 AM

    I’m a soon to be military girlfriend.. how to you prepare yourself for the goodbye? It seems so hard right now

  47. March 23, 2016 1:59 PM

    Beautiful. I am with you. Very new to this and feeling alone and a little overwhelmed. My soldier is new to me, but I love him and want to support him as best as I can. The weight of this commitment and what it might mean for my future is heavy on me even though I know we have time to build our relationship right now. But I know I know very little about all of this. Consider me an infant in the military world. And like you, I’m just the girlfriend. I hope to be more one day, I am just nervous and need advice/encouragement. Thank you for your post. Hoping to hear back!

    • March 24, 2016 10:24 PM

      Thanks for stopping by Amandargy! This isn’t a blog I update anymore and I’ve been out of the life for a few years now, but cling to any groups you can, read as many books as you can, and know there surely is an entire world of support out there. One of the best things you can do also for a better understanding, is to volunteer with a military organization like The USO, WWP, Yellow Ribbon Project, etc. Good luck!

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