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The What If Game

November 25, 2009

We’ve all done it or perhaps your family, friends, and co-workers ask you to play along. It’s a game we wish we didn’t have to play, but we must.

I love, love, love the family I work for. They have always been more than amazing to me. Just today, they were concerned with me getting sick and paid for me to visit the doctors. They are always doing great things for me. I am blessed. Today, she asked me if I had yet to hear from the FH and once again I had to answer no. (FML!) She started playing the “What If” game with me, which I don’t mind. You know the questions: “What would you do if he came back without legs?, What if he came back with PTSD? What if…What if…” Some of you may think it was out of line, but we have a close relationship. I truly don’t mind answering, because although I’ve not been thrust into those situations and hopefully never will…I know my answers.

I have always stood by the fact that I love a man and that man just so happens to be a US Soldier. His job is a very dangerous one and I accept that and love him just the same. I’ve known my FH for 10 years now. I knew back then what a good man he was and would be, and I am so lucky to have him now. I fell in love with him for all the positive attributes he holds and the love and tenderness he has shown me this past year. I didn’t fall in love with him for his job or his uniform. It may have been what brought us together, but it is not what defines our relationship. With that being said, I am aware of the dangers of this job. I am aware I may end up a widow at 26. My husband might come back with severe injuries or even hidden ones. I am aware that if we have children, they might grow up without a father or if we don’t get pregnant before he deploys, that I might never have children with the man I love. Yes, I am aware of these things. Would any of the above scenarios be extremely difficult? YES. Would there be times when I wanted to give up on life? YES. But, does this make me want to turn and run or love him less? NO!

The fact of the matter is, I could get hit by a drunk driver and be killed tonight…on US soil. I could be up high on a ladder and fall and break my neck and be paralyzed. Yes, his job has more persistent dangers but anything can happen. You can’t really play the “What If” game all the time. Are these factors extremely important to think about before you make a commitment to someone in the military? YES! As my good friend Reina said last night, “You don’t date a military man casually. It’s a long-term, life commitment” Well said my dear.

Regardless of the “What If’s,” my FH deserves my undying love, steadfast commitment, and loyalty. He provides me with a love and security that keeps me safe at night. No matter what lies ahead of us, I will love him the same as I do now. I am committed to that and have a partner who feels the same.

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. November 25, 2009 7:25 PM

    “What if you met the man you were meant to spend your life with, who would support you unconditionally and you returned the same unconditional love?” Oh wait, no need for that “what if” scenario, that is my blessed reality.

  2. November 25, 2009 7:45 PM

    What if my husband did come back with PTSD and is in denial? I would still love him….What if the stress of his return took our relationship to the bottom and back to the top…then back to the bottom? I would still love him…he is my blessing…God sent him to me….What if…it all happened and I stand with him…because He always stood up for me…just a thought…………..love is a very strong power…it simply over rides What if…………

    Great post!!!!

    God Bless You~
    Tara JW

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