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Settling into “This Army Life”

February 24, 2010

I just love old pictures. Isn’t this one awesome? I can only imagine the emotions. I’m sure they are no different than how they are today. We feel the same things in the 21st century as the women of the 20th century when it comes to sending our husbands to war.

Anyway, I was laying in bed last night curled up next to my snoring husband and just kinda thanking God that I was where I was. I’m a night owl and hubs isn’t. I try to get to bed with him but I just can’t yet. Getting up at 0400 doesn’t sound so great right now when I’m not working. Once I have a job, I can get up with him, see him off, and go to the gym before heading in to work. For now, I’ll stick to my nightly reading sessions about Ava Gardner’s wildly fabulous life. I so love her.

My thoughts got to me and as I laid there in the dark, (in between texts with my mom) and I soon started to realize that one day, I’ll go to bed alone. I know it’s crazy to think about now, being that hubs has only been home 90 days and has plenty of time left here with me…but now that I’m here, I can’t help but think about it every now and then. It’s so different now. When he was deployed last time, we weren’t dating when he was shipped off. There was no routine to break, no goodbyes to make, no adjusting to life in an empty bed. I was already functioning on my own when we re-connected and he was already in Iraq. This time around will be different, and believe me…I knew that already.

I just kinda laid there, thinking that every night I have him snoring next to me and keeping me warm is a true gift. It’s a countdown, one more night checked off. Down the road, it will be just me. In a big empty bed. In a cold lonely apartment. Waiting for word. I’ll survive. I’ll manage. I know it’s what I’ve been called to do. This isn’t a whining session. Just a realization that it won’t always be this snuggly. I think when I’m home during the day, it makes me get a feel for what it’s like to be in an empty apartment. The quiet. As much as he drives me crazy sometimes and I want to wring his neck, I sure do miss him when he’s at work all day.

We don’t have a washer and dryer yet in our place so I have to putz down to the laundry room and do our dirties today. Hopefully my family decides to chime in and do SOMETHING for us for our wedding present. Washer & Dryer please? A girl can dream right? Yeah.

I’m not sure if I like the fact we are so far from post yet or not. At first, I think I really liked it because I didn’t want to be thrown into all the “Army Stuff” 24/7. Now, I think it would be kinda nice to have a way to connect with other spouses close to home. Everyone I already know out here is closer to post. I just came from a place where I had to drive for an hour each way to get to work and where traffic was a NIGHTMARE and while we only live about 30 minutes from post, I still don’t feel like hoppin’ in the car and driving out there all the time. But, I’ve only been here a week and know that once I get settled, this house gets full of furniture, and life becomes normal again…I’ll get out and meet new people.

2 Comments leave one →
  1. February 25, 2010 1:16 AM

    aww…this is really a romantic photo….

  2. March 2, 2010 9:23 PM

    this post was really heart-warming and almost teary,.. brings up a lot of memories over here also.
    For now hubby is here with me also, but there are possibilities,.. all I can say for now so once again that day may come that I dread but am also honored of at the same time .. definitely it does help to be thankful and cherish the moments and one another. I read your “about us story” and was amazed at the similarities. I appreciate your blog and enjoy your posts 😉 I look forward to keeping up sometimes ~Jenn 😉

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