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Stuff on my mind…

April 14, 2010

I would like to take this opportunity to warn you that a portion of this blog is going to be a rant. Don’t say I didn’t warn you!

So I’ve noticed on Twitter these past few weeks and just as part of this military life in general…rank sometimes comes up as an issue. It’s really frickin’ ridiculous. No single person or issue made me want to write this blog but it’s like that elephant in the room. The thing that gets talked about in whispers but nobody really says anything about. I heard about it before I was even married to my husband. Here’s my stance on it, like it or not.

My husband is enlisted and low in rank. I don’t feel that someone is “better” because they completed their four year degree and entered at the officer level. Honestly, WHO CARES? When it comes down to it, a soldier is a soldier, a marine is a marine. You are all called to do the same damn job. If you stand a guy with a degree next to a guy who doesn’t in civi’s…can you tell the difference? I can’t! So who the hell cares!?! I respect someone who has their degree, I don’t…yet. It’s something both DH & I are currently working towards accomplishing. I may offend some by saying this, but at least in what I’m thinking…most people who complete a four year degree have aspirations of using that degree immediately upon graduation for the civilian world in their chosen career field. Example, graduate with a Political Science degree, go do Poli-Sci stuff. You get the picture. I don’t feel that many people spend their cash, time, and sweat to get their four year degree at 22 (or even later) to go and sign up for the military. Sure. It happens. Perhaps a lot, but like I said…I don’t think it’s something many college graduates plan to do. I know a lot of the allure in joining is to PAY for college to be completed, to have the Army assist you in obtaining your 4 year degree. I get that completely. I don’t know. This whole rank this is ridiculous. I get why it’s in place and it should be…obviously. I just have a problem of how things are tossed around and handled.

On the pride thing, I will be proud when my husband make his next rank. It’s an automatic thing so it’s not like it’s something crazy, but it still reason to be proud. It’s better than getting an Article 15 and losing rank right? Anyway, sure I’ll share it on Twitter once and perhaps post it on FB once…but I’m not going to parade around wearing shirts that say “I LOVE MY SPC” or “SPC’s Wife.” I’m not going to change who I am because now my husband is an SPC. So what? Great. And it won’t happen when he makes SGT either. I’m super stoked he moved up in rank but it doesnt change my life one bit except perhaps a couple extra bucks floating around our household. People that allow themselves, their friendships, their marriages, their social circles, etc to be defined by rank are BOGUS. If you’re one of these people…do me a favor and stop reading my blog and/or unfollow me from Twitter. Sheesh.

So an update on life here. Things are getting better. I’ve joined the gym and am in the process of shedding the 12 pounds I’ve somehow gained over the past 9 months. Ick. I was so thin when he came for R&R. What the hell happened!?! I am excited to have met someone who is stationed here and also experienced the loss of a pregnancy. We met through TheBump.com message boards and we’ll be meeting for lunch tomorrow. YAY for that! It will be nice to have someone who understands all aspects of my life right now. Another Twitter friend is moving here very shortly and I’m excited to have yet another person to get to know and hang out with. Things are for sure looking up.

Hubs and I get to go to San Antonio next month for an honorary dinner as part of the PGA tour. Really looking forward to having an excuse to FINALLY see my husband in his Class A’s and get jazzed up.

Lastly, and sort of randomly…I want to encourage wives, children, and service members to reach out to Military One Source for counseling if needed. It is confidential. It is free, for 11 sessions. It is wonderful. You just have to call the 1800 number anytime of any day and let them know you would like to see a counselor. There is no co-pay involved. If you’re experiencing issues within your family, military related or not…they are there to help you.

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6 Comments leave one →
  1. Michelle permalink
    April 15, 2010 3:48 PM

    You would be surprised at the number of people who have their mind set on going to college to get a 4 year degree so that they can come in as an officer because they feel the need to serve their country. You may not understand it but it happens quite often. And I respect those that do it.

    • welcometothelife permalink*
      April 15, 2010 11:13 PM

      I understand that demographic exists and I am also very proud of them and ANYONE who chooses to serve in our military. However, my point is that if you poll 100 graduating college seniors and ask them who is entering the military upon graduation…I’m sure the number is slim. Poll 100 high school seniors with a diploma or GED and the number is higher. That’s just IMO. I could be entirely wrong and have no scientific evidence to back it up, but it seems like that would be pretty cut and dry.

  2. April 17, 2010 3:04 PM

    Could that just be linked to the fact that a lot of guys may not know they want to become officers until they get into college? Or some I know were one of the high school seniors who wanted to join really badly but got the no you can’t until you are done with college from their parents so they figured why not just become an officer. Also, I think it’s important to go to college if you want to become an officer because it can help enhance your skills in people management, logical reasoning, and problem solving – that I bet you would need if you have 20, 60, 100 guys underneath you. Either way I don’t think it can hurt.

    I actually was on the milspouse.com website and was poking around and found this article about the subject.

    http://www.milspouse.com/rank-wives-friendship-part-one.aspx

    I totally agree with you and think its crap that people would treat anyone differently because of rank – but I have heard some stories from a few of my girlfriends where initially rank wasn’t discussed in a friendship or work relationship (for the wives), things were said, those things got back to milspouse 2’s hubby, and then s**t hit the fan – which didn’t look good for either milspouse 1 or her hubby. So as crappy as it is to have to talk about rank in a friendship, it may be needed to an extent, I just can’t think of anyway to change the deep rooted ways of the military that unknowingly require it.

  3. Reina permalink
    April 18, 2010 11:12 AM

    I’m sorry that people are using their husbands’ ranks to “one-up” people. I think it’s unfair and wrong. I think that it’s fair mostly because we as the wife, fiancee, girlfriend don’t earn that rank. Sure, I’m proud that my Marine has done well for himself but I can’t take credit. Pulling rank is such a ignorance thing, I think. They want to be proud of something and their husband’s rank is something that makes them feel secure in their place as a military spouse, possibly.

    I’m proud of my Marine for getting out after his 4 years and finishing his school and wanting to become an officer. He wants to study Economics (don’t ask me why, I think it’s boring as anything) and become an officer for the United States Marine Corps. Perhaps it’s not the “normal” way to go, but there are plenty of programs out there like ROTC, NROTC, even JNROTC, etc… It might not be “typical” but there are people who aspire to go to the Naval Academy and West Point as an entry point in serving their country…

    I’m not sure if I was understanding your blog right but I’m guessing somebody or many somebodies were pushing your buttons and raising their husbands up and diminishing enlisted folks (shame on them)…

    Love you, love our enlisted AND officers…

    Reina

  4. Reina permalink
    April 18, 2010 11:13 AM

    Maybe I should re-read and edit before I post… so many typos!! jeez

    I meant to say it’s unfair mostly because… and it’s an ignorant thing
    lol. maybe I should go back to school hah

  5. May 3, 2010 11:56 AM

    I get what you’re saying — pulling rank is one thing in the work environment, but in the real world, my husband’s rank is not MY rank. My husband is enlisted, and pretty middle of the road as far as what his rank is, but that’s all you’ll ever hear me mention of it. People who talk about rank in a social setting, whether you’re enlisted or an officer, drive me bonkers. Be proud of what your service member does for the country, and focus on that — not what he has pinned (or velcroed!) to his uniform.

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